I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
