hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
only if we run a train.
done.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
