Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
