Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
