i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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