He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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