Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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