last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
