Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
