Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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