oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
