Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
