Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
