his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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