Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
