So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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