Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
