I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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