Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
