here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you win again, gameday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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