i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
