I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
