i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
