fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
