i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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