Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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