Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
