He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
