i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
