I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She told me I should be a condom model.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
