So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You work out of a Hotel?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
