I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I faked an abortion last night.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
