I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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