Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
