suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
