You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
