i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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