Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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