I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
