I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
