I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
