I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
