It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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