Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
