doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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