just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
