whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
