Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
