no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
