Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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