The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
